THE GRIEF PROCESS
1) Shock & denial: Shock is natures way of protecting us until we are able to adjust to difficult events. After shock comes denial. It is natural for people to avoid painful feelings. You may want to keep busy by not thinking about it or you may want to pretend nothing has changed.
2)Confusion& despair: It isn’t easy to learn how to deal with strong and painful feelings. You may fear the unknown or want to get back you lost. You often feel helpless and hopeless. You may feel angry at yourself or blame someone else You may search for reasons or answers for the loss when there are no reasons.
3)Acceptance: Acceptance will come when you have learned to adjust to the “new normal”. You may always feel the sadness, but the unbearable pain will end. There will be times when sadness comes back like waves in an ocean. The feeling will be powerful at times, and a gentle remainder at other times. |
Grief is what happens when you lose something or someone. Whether it is the death of someone close to you or the loss of a relationship, it is still a loss that has to be faced. Losses are a natural part of growing older and learning to accept change and to deal with losses is part of growing up. Some losses are harder to recognize and understand and can cause someone to feel differently about themselves or their life. The way we handle loss is different for people. Some people need a lot of time to deal with saying goodbye and other people quickly adapt to their “new normal”. Saying goodbye is really hard and sometimes, just by attending a memorials isn’t enough for some people. Most people are comforted at memorials because it is a time to share our sadness and grief with others and to receive support. Some people need to do things like write letters to the one they’ve lost or they need to journal and write letters. |
SOMETHINGS TO TRY WHEN A FRIEND HAS DIED
Stay with other people. Don’t go off alone. Let yourself cry. Crying helps in a lot of way. If you can’t cry—that’s okay. You might feel shocked, angry or confused. Try to get through the day—eat , sleep and talk. Find someone who can hug you
or hold you—everybody need to be comforted at a time like this. When you get a chance, think of things you remember about your friend. In this way, you keep your friend’s memory alive. It is good to go to the house and to the memorial. This is the way we say goodbye. In awhile you will feel better, but it will take time. |
